Madhavan gave no free time to son Vedant till he was 15: ‘I learnt this rule at a wild Canadian town’

He also explained what is causing stress among parents: “I know a lot of parents who are so conscious about the fact that they have to give return gifts, that they sometimes avoid going to birthday parties because they can’t avoid it. You know, they are like, ‘We will have to call them for our birthday.’ And they say, you know, the child is busy or unwell or, you know, we have to travel someplace, because it’s really such a responsibility to keep track of what they gave you as a return gift and what you have to give back.”

‘Attitude of gratitude’

Speaking specifically about what he made sure to inculcate in Vedaant, he said, “I realised there are two things I needed to tell Vedaant. One is this attitude of gratitude, which is very, very important for them to know: that they are privileged because of somebody else’s work, that has helped get you this. And therefore, sometimes just telling him the salary of my cook, saying, ‘Hey, you know what? What a pair of shoes that have been gifted to you cost this much and this man has to work an entire year, living in that kitchen, to earn enough to afford a bit of that.’”

He also emphasized respect towards people perhaps who are in lower hierarchies but are no less in any which way: “The second thing I made sure that Vedaant did was to acknowledge, maybe not as much as my friends, but most certainly acknowledge the liftman, the guard, the drivers, you know, and not call them aayas and stuff like that. Call them didis instead. And I made sure that if the watchman came and said, ‘You are a very polite child, he always says namaste to me,’ I thought my job was well done.”

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‘Don’t give your child free time’

Madhavan also recalled a parenting tip he received while studying abroad, which he has followed faithfully: “I lived in a town in Canada, which was pretty wild for those times because, you know, teenage pregnancy was rampant over there, and drugs and alcohol were part of that town, I found one family that I stayed with whose children were absolutely normal as can be, very well brought up, not into any of these issues. And so I happened to ask the lady of the household many years later, I said, ‘How did you manage to do this?’”

He recalled her response: “And she gave me an advice which I followed to the heart, and it really worked for my son. And she said, ‘Don’t give your child free time.’ She said, ‘You know, indulge him or her in whatever they want to do, as long as they’re doing it with passion. The interests will change, the level of commitment will change, but make sure that they don’t have free time till they’re 15–16 years old. Make it a habit to make sure they go from one activity to the other. And it could be fun. It should be fun. It shouldn’t be a chore, the child is going to hate it.'”

He added, “But if he wants to play basketball and tennis and golf, and wants to play kabaddi and spend time with seven kids and learn how to make dough, whatever, just make sure that his or her time is filled. That doesn’t give them time to dwell on things that they shouldn’t at that age.”

Madhavan married Sarita Birje in 1999. Their son, Vedaant, who is now an international swimmer, was born in 2005.

Disclaimer: This article explores personal reflections on parenting, family values, and lifestyle choices within the entertainment industry. The insights shared, including advice on child-rearing and time management, are based on individual experiences and should be taken as personal perspectives rather than professional pedagogical or psychological guidance.