Madhavan says he refused son Vedaant’s request to ‘spend quality time’: ‘I’m not a cosmetic dad’ 

“There will never be enough time to spend with your kids. I think this is a very Western concept that I have to spend quality time with the kids and everything. All your job is to make sure you treat them with the right family, teach them the right family values,” he said.

When Vedaant complained to Madhavan about quality time

The actor recalled a conversation with Vedaant when he was six years old and complained that his father was not spending enough time with him. Madhavan said he responded by drawing parallels with his own upbringing.

ALSO READ: Madhavan gave no free time to son Vedant till he was 15: ‘I learnt this rule at a wild Canadian town’

“When my son came to me when he was 6 years old and said, ‘Papa, you know, you’re not spending quality time with me.’ And I said, ‘Look at that man, my father over there. He never spent quality time with me either.’ He didn’t come to my baseball games because we didn’t have bloody baseball. He didn’t come to school. He was there when I needed him.”

Madhavan explained that while his father may not have attended events or activities, he was always emotionally present and gave him the strength and values he needed.

“He was there as a pillar of strength philosophically. He was there as a person when I needed support and he funded what I wanted to do. But he instilled the qualities,” he said.

‘Don’t expect me to be cosmetic father’

The actor added that his relationship with his father shaped the kind of parent he wanted to become for Vedaant.

“I love that man dearly and I’m going to make sure that I’m the best son possible for him till as long as he lasts.” Madhavan then shared the conversation he had with his son about the kind of father he could realistically be while balancing a demanding profession.

“So I said, Vedaant, if you expect me to be this cosmetic father who will come to all your school games, that’s not going to be me because I have a profession that does not allow me to do that. But if you ever need any help, if you ever need me to be there for anything, I’m just a messenger.”

He stressed that unconditional support matters more than constant physical presence.

“Because no matter how much of a blunder you do, how much of a mistake you do, I will always be on your side. I will try and solve the problem if you tell me earlier on that you made a blunder or a mistake,” he said.

Madhavan said he hopes he has built enough trust for his son to approach him with anything in life.

“I hope that I have instilled that confidence that you can come to me with anything. But apart from that, live life like an Indian kid. Go out, play, don’t feel insecure about the fact that people are telling you, ‘Oh, my father did this, my father didn’t do that.’ I could have done so many things, but I don’t regret it at all,” he said.

‘We don’t talk every day’

Earlier, in an interview with GQ, R. Madhavan had also spoken about his relationship with son Vedaant Madhavan and the kind of bond he hopes to share with him in the future.

“I want to be an integral part of my son’s life—the kind where my future grandkids call me thatha and visit often. I want him to someday ask me, ‘Dad, how did you raise me?’ Of course, I can’t be there for every event, but he knows I’ll always show up when it matters. We don’t talk every day or say ‘I love you’ all the time, but when he needs to talk or find a solution, I’m the one he calls,” he said.

Madhavan married Sarita Birje in 1999. Their son, Vedaant, who was born in 2005, is currently based in Dubai, where he balances his education with intense training sessions.

Disclaimer: Parenting styles and family dynamics differ from person to person. R. Madhavan’s views reflect his personal experiences and beliefs about fatherhood, and may not apply to every family or parenting situation.